Just Call Me Sir James

I think it is about time I revive this sleepy little bungalow of my thoughts. I am still very critical of any creative writing I have attempted recently, which is a big reason I have failed to have any posting continuity on the greatest ever pop culture blog either. I feel slightly more comfortable posting garbage here.

So after that ringing endorsement of my writing, please do read on! I love history and part of that interest is genealogy. I think it is important to know where you come from and your family's history. It can be a great source of pride as well as a sense of identity. Up to this point what I knew about my family's history was somewhat limited and fairly uninteresting.

My father's side of the family was of English heritage. My great grandfather helped write a book detailing the genealogy of that side of the family and the only fact I always remembered was a Mathias Button, my Great^10 grandfather who came over to the colonies on the ABIGAIL with Governor John Endicott's party and landed in Salem in 1628. Also, one of his early homes was burned down by Indians. It was interesting enough for my 2nd grade heritage project but not exactly mind-blowing today. I almost forgot that my dad also believes we are distantly related to John Adams, and subsequently his son John Quincy. They are of course the 2nd and 4th Presidents and John was a founder of this nation.

My mother's side of the family was for the most part a complete mystery. I mostly recall hearing that we were of Irish and German descent but there were never any specifics.

Over the past month this would all change. From this moment on my family history would be something to be really proud of with 3 big discoveries. The first of these happened at my grandmother's funeral. This was my grandmother on my mother's side. I have long had a fascination and admiration for Jewish culture and I also had a hunch that parts of my mother's ancestry were of Jewish heritage. To my surprise and joy I discovered this hunch to be true. Granted, this is based on a brief conversation with relatives I barely knew. Nevertheless, according to them my grandmother was of Jewish descent and they think her ancestors came to this country and changed their name to Brenning. They were unsure what the original last name might have been though. These details are incredibly fishy to be sure, but it still made me quite happy to hear.

My father unearthed the next 2 discoveries. My great interest in history and genealogy most likely came from my father, which he got from his father and grandfather. He has included me in emails he has sent out regarding these discoveries.

My dad had for some time been looking for a family connection to the American Revolution. In the past he had been unable to find a direct line to someone involved. The other week he found one that had been under his nose the entire time. Gad Lamb was a Revolutionary War Veteran. With this information I can join the Sons of the American Revolution, an organization that includes many luminaries and, to a lesser extent, our current President. While I have been writing this blog entry I have been "googling" some of these relatives and I just discovered that through Gad Lamb I am related to the late Christopher Reeve. It is a pretty close line as well. Gad Lamb was my father's 4th great grandfather as well as Christopher Reeve's. His mother's maiden name was Lamb, which is the maiden name of my great grandmother. It appears we are descendants of different children of Gad Lamb. That's right baby, I have Superman blood in me! Mess with me now! hahaha If you go on other more distant offshoots of Gad Lamb then I am also distantly related to the current political loser, Mitt Romney, as well as George Eastman. These are of course very distant.

That is what is pretty cool about genealogy. You can find out these relations completely out of the blue. Before I started this blog I had the knowledge of being a Son of the American Revolution and poof, just after putting a name in google I find I am related to Christopher Reeve.

Anyways, the last discovery is actually the most significant. I know what you are thinking. How can you top Superman? I received another email from my father tonight with a discovery that blows the others away. I am of Royal descent. We have a direct line, funny enough also through Gad Lamb, to the House of Plantagenet. The direct line includes King Henry III, his father King John and his father Henry II. Though not a direct line, Richard the I, also known as Richard the Lionheart, was the son of Henry II and brother to King John. So I am related to him as well. Through this line I am also directly related to William Bradford who was a leader of the Plymouth Colony of Mass and author of the Mayflower Compact, who came over on the Mayflower. Through him the amount of notable people I am distantly related to becomes ridiculous.

I understand that this fascination is pretty lame to most people and I apologize if this was an incredibly boring read. But I find it tremendously interesting how connected we all are. A month ago I thought my family history wasn't anything of historical significance. Now I find that I am directly related to English Royalty, a famous Plymouth and Mayflower leader and, though not directly, but related within 4 generations to Superman. Plus I have a history of Jewish culture which is something I greatly admire.

The Curse of Guilt

I am convinced that in a previous life I was quite the evil person. That seems to be the only explanation for all of the guilt I feel on a regular basis. This guilt is sometimes completely understandable. I am glad that I feel guilty when I do things that deserve that feeling. But the problem is that I feel the pains of guilt even when I'm not at fault or if the situation really doesn't warrant it.

I think that this trait was probably passed on through my family. I wouldn't be surprised if my other family members go through the same things as me. When I am feeling guilty I usually have trouble sleeping and taking my mind off the subject. I also am put on edge until the situation clears as my nerves are placed at Code Red alert.

So this weekend's guiltfest comes courtesy of a situation involving my dog on Friday night. Mackenzie is a Westhighland Terrier. He is a very lovable dog most of the time and I really love the little guy. But he has been known to get me in trouble from time to time. He is full of energy. As with most types of terriers that energy manifests itself into running around and barking.

So Friday was a long day. I had worked all day at school and then later at the gas station. I didn't get home until about 8:30. Poor Mac hadn't been let out of his cage to go outside for most of the day. So when I let him upstairs he was quite eager to go outside. It was a pretty nice night out so I let him out and figured he was alright to be out there for a little while.

I was pretty exhausted at that point. So I went upstairs to my room to just crash for a while. Around 9:45 I remembered about Mac and went downstairs to let him back in. I heard him barking but I didn't really think that much of it. My sister came home at about 10:15 or so and she told me that someone had left a note on our front door. Needless to say I was quite surprised by what I was about to read.

You can see Exhibit A to the right. At this point I was quite stunned. I didn't know what to think. First, the note wasn't even correct. I do not leave the dog outside when I am not home. I believe that is just cruel to the animals and yes it would be rude to the neighbors. But I was home when he was outside.

They might not have realized that because I was parked in the garage and no other cars were in the driveway until my sister came home. So other than the note being wrong it also seems to be a bit of a cowardly move. My family isn't exactly close to all of the neighbors. We get along with most of them but we never really spend time with them or know any of them that well.

What bothers me most is that they didn't have the courage to at least put their name. If they truly wanted to be neighborly they could have knocked on the door and asked to talk instead of resorting to this. I would have explained the situation and apologized to them. So instead we are left with this anonymous note and no real way to resolve the situation. It really bothers me.

I fully admit that I should have paid more close attention. But I couldn't hear his barking from my bedroom. Plus it was a Friday night, so no school or work the next day for most people. And he was only outside for a little over an hour. To me this is a minor problem that was blown completely out of proportion. Immediately the guilt began to set in. I wish I could have been able to just explain it to someone.

Because they didn't say who it was from I have spent the weekend so far wondering which neighbor it could be. All day today I have dreaded even driving by their houses in case they are outside. And every time the dog went outside today I kept hoping he wouldn't bark at all. The guilt just piles on even more to my regularly high level of anxiety. I'm sure once it blows over I will be able to find some humor in the situation. It just bothers me that it had to come to this in the first place.

I have been in a major funk lately and this didn't help the situation. Hopefully the upcoming week will be an improvement. It is my last one working at school before summer break. And then just a week after that I will be Albany bound for my annual 4th of July visit with my friend Kris. It seems every year I need that time to blow off steam more than the year before.

To Vlog or Not to Vlog

As I mentioned in my last blog I am currently going through a YouTube phase. A good portion of my free time over the past few days has been spent watching videos from different users. Needless to say it has inspired me. I like the idea of expressing yourself through video.

But for me it isn't as easy as just being inspired. Regardless of my creative interests I have to consider what my actual abilities will allow. I enjoy expressing myself and this blog is a direct result of that. But it does not come easy to me like it does to so many others. I am not of the artistic breed. But this could also be used as a legitimate reason to start Vlogging(video blogging). Many times I find it difficult putting words on the screen which reflect how I'm feeling. Granted I would still have to come up with something to say, but perhaps the pressure of being on camera would spur on my creative juices. Perhaps I could eventually find the experience to be very freeing. This is what I am unsure about.

At some point it seems that creating videos for YouTube is definitely an ego thing. For a lot of people it probably is and I don't want that impression for myself. I have little self esteem let alone an ego to stroke. I certainly wouldn't expect large numbers of people to watch my ugly mug in videos on a regular basis. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up with no views at all. Of course I would hope that people would watch and enjoy them on some level but I would be happy if I was the only one to view them. Just to have my thoughts documented would make me happy.

If I do decide to start vlogging on YouTube the question then becomes what will I talk about? I have long wanted to express my opinions on movies to the masses. Yet I lack the writing skills to ever become a legitimate film critic. I have wanted to create a website that would look at films in a different way, based more on pre-film hype and if they live up to it. This could be a chance to pursue that in some respect.

Of course this all could be for naught. I could lose interest fairly soon into the process or I could simply be unhappy with the results. There is a high chance of that happening considering I rarely even enjoy having my picture taken. I am curious what other people feel about this form of expression. Is it a waste of time for someone my age?




On another topic, a perfect storm of no rain and high pollen count has resulted in my allergies wreaking havoc day and night. They really only became a problem a year or so ago. I started back on my Allegra regimen last week but I am still feeling the effects of the pollen in the air. It makes me wish for the ability to hibernate through summer.

Youtubin' Into My Heart

Most people know about my obsession with accents. Perhaps obsession is too strong a word for it. But I love accents nevertheless. My favorite is British, of course. It has long been a dream of mine that the woman I marry will have a British accent. Then I can spend every day with her just listening and enjoying every word she says. It would even make fights entertaining for me.

I'm not sure where this interest of mine came from. I didn't have a British nanny as a child. Now I gush every time I hear one. In college I used to purposely sit next to the British kids in the cafeteria. Nothing goes with dinner better than eavesdropping on some Brits talking. To be fair those are not the only accents I enjoy. I also love Canadian, southern American and Australian plus the French and Indian when they speak English.

You are probably wondering at this point, "What the hell does this have to do with YouTube?" Every once in a while I go on a YouTube bender where I can't get enough of it. I spend entirely too much time watching people's random videos. By chance yesterday I stumbled onto one that completely captivated me. I've only partially delved into her deep catalogue of vlogs, but I am hooked. In case you hadn't guessed she is British. Most of her videos really aren't anything ground breaking, however I can't help but watch them all. They consist of everything from reading a short story she loves to having a staring contest in response to another video.

Yes it may seem childish and I suppose in many respects it is. But at this point in my life I've decided to just embrace the things that make me smile, as they are few and far between. So far I have smiled during every one of her videos. So I thought I would post a couple I thoroughly enjoyed. The first one should be pretty self explanatory for why I love it.







The second video is about how to eat chips (or for us Americans, fries). And I definitely agree with her strategy as simple as it seems.





So that is currently what I am doing with my free time. Meanwhile my Netflix queue remains neglected. I really need to start cranking some out. But dammit if it doesn't always happen that you are in a light, comedic mood for a few weeks but you get mostly dramas in the mail. And I don't like to adjust my queue too much other than adding new things now and then.


Ignorance Edit: So as I have now watched most of Paperlilies' videos, I realize that she has quite a huge following and is a genuine YouTube star. As usual I'm one of the last people to discover these types of things. But I won't let that put a halt to my current infatuation. She is still a treat to watch despite the fact that I'm one of over 15,000 subscribers to her channel.

There is Absolutely No Honor in This

I read something absolutely despicable yesterday. I had heard of honor killings before but watching the video of it brought out a whole new level of disgust. Are the gaps between different cultures really that far apart in this day and age? What kind of human beings live in a society where it is alright to murder a young woman for as little as walking down the street with a man of a different religion?

And I'm not sure which is worse, the people that actually killed her or those who stood around and watched as if it was completely normal. At some point my tolerance for the hatred and ignorance in this world reaches a boiling point. If these honor killings were the worst the world had to offer then I suppose it would be easier to have a bright outlook. But of course they are just the tip of the iceberg. Atrocities like this happen every single day with hardly a moment's notice from the Western World. Darfur is, of course, the perfect example.

I guess there is no real point to this blog other than to vent my frustrations at something I can't begin to control.

Graduation Day Lights a Spark... (on my face)

Saturday was a nice day in the mid-60s, with a bit of a cool breeze and a few clouds in the sky. There I sat with my family and a few thousand other people celebrating the accomplishments of my sister. The ceremony lasted close to 3 hours. Little did I suspect that something would happen then that is still affecting me today. My entire family ended up getting sunburned but of course I received the worst of it.

It has taken a few days but I'm starting to realize that my burns were much worse than I wanted to admit. I will be going to the doctor's shortly and expect him to verify that they could be close to 2nd degree burns. This on a semi-cloudy day in the mid-60s. I won't get into the gory details of what my face currently looks like. Suffice to say that comparisons could be made to lizards. I feel like a bit of a fool. I'm not a stupid man by any means but I guess IQ points mean nothing if you don't have enough sense to use sunblock or at least wear a hat. Luckily, I'm not alone. I feel a good portion of that audience got highly toasted.

Evoking the spirit of Earl Hickey, I feel that karma may have played a role in my current situation. You see, my older sister and I took great pleasure in people-watching during the event. There were many great sights to see. By far the greatest was this man wearing a hat so ridiculous we couldn't help but roll over in laughter. My sister managed to sneak a picture of him which, needless to say, is priceless. There he sits like a proud peacock. By the way, not shown in the picture was his wife who was sporting a matching hat, although not upturned towards the moon.

Eventually he flipped the front of that bad boy down to give himself plenty of protection from the sun, which kicked our ass. I can't help but think that Karma played a role because we were having fun at his expense. So I give my pledge now. Never again will I find humor in the quirkiness of others' hat choices. I don't care if a woman is wearing a Chiquita Banana hat at a funeral. I will simply designate them as my superior for choosing to block out the rays of the sun.

Inauguration Day

Expectations. You have them for your friends, your family, your work, upcoming events and yourself. Set your expectations too low and you will never truly gain what you are looking for. Set them too high and you will always be disappointed.

This tango is the called the expectations game. How you play it could determine just how happy you are on a day to day basis. Do people even realize how much expectations can effect their decisions and their general state of wellbeing?

Lets start by talking about the expectations one has for others. I have generally been trusting of others. I have always wanted to believe in the best in people. I have always expected to be treated out of respect from those I care about. Yet when that trust is broken and the expectations I held for them have fallen where do I go from there?

Must you automatically go in the reverse direction and assume the worst about people? I have long been wary and closed off from those I don't know, always expecting the worst. As a result my friends and relationships come few and far between. Yet I cherish the ones I do have. Those that are closest to me I open up to and give that trust so easily. And that of course is where the most pain can happen. So where is the balance?

Then there is work. When you set expectations for your work in life do you also set yourself up for failure. By all accounts I am a failure when it comes to what I wanted to achieve with my working life. The jobs I have serve as passages of time and not much else. But the fear I have of what it will feel like starting again is enough to keep moving in the same direction.

Perhaps I am expecting too much out of a job. I believe that every person has a calling and they should go towards it. Yet i have no idea what mine is. There are many things that make me happy. But figuring out what is best and what I can actually achieve is daunting if not impossible. Maybe I need to lower my expectations and assume that striving for the mythical dream job is unrealistic.

Expectations frighten me. I am a pessimist with hope if that make any sense. I believe in the worst but hold out a feeling that something more could happen. The question is, are my expectations holding me back or protecting me?

Alas, I will have low expectations for this blog; whatever form it takes. I hope I will be inspired to continue it but I am worried of my limits. Only time shall tell. All I can say is that for now this blog will not be able to rely on my crutch of pop culture. With that topic I am entirely devoted to one mistress, Pop-Pop (Culture) in the Attic.

I couldn't possibly have higher expectations for that particular blog. I am filled with immense honor and pride at its mere mention. So please take a gander. I can't guarantee that this blog will amuse the masses but that one surely will.